


I Almost Do

by littlemarvelfics



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 08:49:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16513121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemarvelfics/pseuds/littlemarvelfics
Summary: Steve really wants to call you, but he doesn’t know if he should.





	I Almost Do

Steve looked at the clock. 1AM on a Friday. Most people might be out partying, but he can almost guarantee you’re sitting in your favorite worn armchair, a throw blanket in your lap, looking out at the city lights.

He knows he shouldn’t call. He knows he made a mess of things. But that doesn’t stop his thumb from hovering over your contact information, wishing he had fought for you instead of the ghost of someone who was never coming back.

Steve saw you a few weeks ago getting coffee with another man. Steve wasn’t surprised. You were indescribably magnificent- it wouldn’t take long for someone to see that. He ducked out of sight before you had a chance to see him.

Steve used to dream of Peggy before he met you and even in the months of your short relationship. He would dream of bringing her back to Brooklyn when the war ended. He dreamed of having a family with her, a regular life. But now he dreams of running across the city and knocking on your door. He dreams of holding your face in his hands and kissing you and holding on and never letting go. And in his dreams- you let him. But then he’s awake and without you.

Steve thinks back on the nights like these you two had. Quiet nights. Nights with no Avenging, and no work. Nights where he could just hold you and kiss you breathless. Those nights would turn into late mornings holding you close to him, never wanting to leave. But eventually, he would tear himself away from you and head to the kitchen to get started on a breakfast for the both of you. It wouldn’t be long before you woke up and reached for your soldier only to find the bed painfully empty. When you got up and wandered into the kitchen, you would see his bare back facing you as he worked at the stove. You would walk up behind him and kiss between his shoulder blades as you wrapped your arms around his stomach and whispered a quiet “Good morning” into his skin.

But that’s all gone now. He’s certain you do those things with a different man now. But it doesn’t stop him from opening your contact information once again. He had tried calling you once before after a particularly rough mission. He’s not sure what he would even say if you answered- he just needed to hear your voice, but he would never figure it out, his call went to voicemail eventually. He assumed you didn’t want to hear from him. In reality, you had stared at the phone the whole time it rang with tears in your eyes. You wanted to hear his voice- God that was all you wanted but you couldn’t hear the word ‘Goodbye’ come out of his mouth again. It might be the thing that actually killed you. So, you didn’t answer, and you regretted it the entire night and into the next day when you went to get coffee with a friend where you could have sworn you saw Steve. You chalked it up to missing him and your eyes playing tricks on you.

The beer bottle that Steve had been holding shattered from the intensity of his grip and brought him back to his current situation. Staring out his window dreaming of you. He was hoping that you were happy, that you were remembering to drink enough water and you remembered to slow down at work once in a while- all things that he would remind you of in your time together. He knew he screwed up and you weren’t going to magically come back to him. But he hoped that even if he lost you, you were taking care of yourself. That was all he really wanted, was for you to be safe and happy. And if someone else was the cause of that- so be it.

Little did Steve know, his 1AM thoughts were right. You were sitting in your favorite armchair, a glass of wine by your side looking out at the city. He was a little wrong though. You were alone, dreaming of him and hoping he was doing the same.


End file.
